Mostly Everything
by xxjourney
Summary: Cut all ties, the text said. He cut all ties and ran like a coward. Rated for slight language and an adult theme.
1. Chapter 1

This isn't about abortion. This isn't about protection. This isn't even about iCarly. It's about teen pregnancy, the difficulties, the fact that any girl can get pregnant if she doesn't know what she's doing.

This isn't a fic with a ship. This is a fic with a reason.

Looking for fluff? Sorry, but you'll have to pass this up.

* * *

She stood in front of the full size mirror and put a hand on her stomach. It was getting harder and harder to hide this. Her everyday clothes were growing smaller every few weeks, and now she was wearing sweats and baby doll tops more often. Spencer hadn't mentioned it--he had been busy lately. Sculptures in demand, he said. He didn't know he was going to be an uncle.

Carly sighed and pulled the hoodie over her head. She didn't want this. He was the reason. Griffin. He said he knew what he was doing, that he had done this before. She hadn't. She wasn't even fifteen yet. He said he had protection with him, that he would use it. He didn't. She trusted him, she figured he wasn't all bad because of his Pee Wee Babies. She figured he would help her out after the test came out positive. She figured he would answer his phone when she called him, sitting on the floor of her bathroom. She left a message. He never called back. Cut all ties, the text said. He cut all ties and ran like a coward.

She closed her closet door. None of the clothes she got for her fifteenth birthday fit. All too small. She couldn't even look at them; the bright orange top, the black and white vest, the gunmetal silver skinny jeans. They all reminded her of what could have been. What she could have been. Not what she was. Pregnant.

Abortion had crossed her mind several times, but she couldn't actually do it. Every time she tried to call the clinic she imagined babies. Happy, smiley, giggly babies. She wanted hers to be happy. To smile. To giggle. She always hung up before they said hello.

Mostly everything had changed, even though she didn't want it to. She was moody, and Sam didn't like that. She still came by to visit, but didn't stay for long. She had found some new friends. Just until you feel better, Sam said. Carly didn't like her mood swings either, but it wasn't her fault. It was the hormones. Freddie didn't like how she spent too much time inside. He liked it better when she was eager to get out of the house. Go to Groovy Smoothies, the mall, even Build-A-Bra or Glitter Gloss. But now she just sat in front of the television, saddened at what she never wanted to be. Pregnant. At least not now.

Carly left her room behind. Her bag, heavy with books, weighed down her right shoulder. She sighed again and set the bag on the floor. This was all she really wanted to deal with. School. Why? Because she was a kid, three weeks past her fifteenth birthday. She just wanted to worry about school, the webshow, her best friends. She didn't want to worry about what Spencer would do when he found out. What she would do with her baby. She frowned and picked the books up.

On the shelf by the front door was her cell phone. She picked it up and turned it on. In the blank screen, she saw her reflection. Dark circles found home under her eyes. Her makeup was applied half hazardly. Her hair was brushed, but rested lamely on her shoulders. That pregnancy glow never shone on her face. As much as she didn't like to admit it, this baby was a burden. A major one. Women around the world couldn't have a child, and yet a girl in Seattle had managed to get knocked up by a seventeen year old loser.

The phone rang back to life. There was an unopened text message. I'm sorry, it said. From Griffin.

Too fucking late, she sent.

She pulled on her boots, which sat by the front door. Tossing the phone into her bag, she took a deep breath and closed her eyes. For just a moment, she remembered what it was like to be herself. To stress over homework, to wrack her brain for something funny for her webshow. To spend the day at the beach, to hang out at Sam's house.

Stupid Griffin. She should've just stuck with her first impression, that he was a delinquint. There is no second chance for a first impression. Or at least, that's how the saying goes. Isn't it?

Carly bit her bottom lip and left. The baby kicked for the first time.


	2. Chapter 2

It was time. Carly had sat through enough Sex Ed classes to know. And the doctor said next Thursday would be the day. As she called out for Spencer, she couldn't help but think. Is there something wrong with the baby? Why can't it wait? A million things zoomed through her mind. Her body ached.

She told Spencer three months earlier. He had begun to get suspicious. She figured she might as well explain it all. He was pissed. Really pissed. He kept asking what happened. Why she had this lapse in judgement. She had to hold him down as he shook with anger. He threatened to go down to 4E and kill Griffin. It took all her might, but Carly managed to calm him down.

Even though she really wanted Spencer to do it.

He came in and rushed her to the car. From there they rushed to the hospital. From there they rushed into the pregnancy wing. Spencer's words rushed out of his mouth as he talked to the receptionist. Carly was in so much pain. She didn't remember what was going on. She just wanted the kid out of her.

She was blinded by pain. The doctors gave her medicine to make her feel better. Hours later, the baby seemed to be ready. The horrible agony of giving birth shouldn't be experienced by a fifteen year old girl. She couldn't help but think that.

Memories flooded back as the doctors ordered her to push. On the swing set, talking to her father as he sat on the foot of the slide. The sun setting on the beach after a long summer day out with her family. Her mother's sweet words and lullabies. Sam's laugh at a joke. Freddie's smile. Various little things that didn't matter before. Now they came and flashed before her eyes, all in a millisecond.

Sweat beaded around her forehead. This was difficult. More than when she tried to run three miles in PE. And that was hard -- she threw up twice.

Finally, after what seemed like a day and a half, the doctors pulled some bloody, screaming thing from her. A baby. Suddenly, in that moment, she felt like it was worth it. Just to see her daughter. They rushed her to get cleaned, getting rid of the gunk in her lungs so she could breathe freely. Carly cried. Spencer wiped the sweat from her brow. A nurse congratulated her on being so good.

She got visits from school friends, neighbors, a few fans of the webshow. They all brought flowers, balloons. Sam came by and hugged her. Cooed at the baby. Freddie brought a teddy bear in a pink tee shirt. Set it by the baby. Talked to Carly, like nothing had happened. Like she hadn't avoided him and Sam for nine months. Like she wasn't in the hospital. Like she had never gotten knocked up in the first place.

Carly liked it that way.

Spencer never left her side. He only left to make a few calls to family. They wished their best, but everyone knew what they were thinking. What the hell went wrong? Dad had blamed himself. Said he wasn't around enough. Spencer told him it wasn't. He didn't blame anyone -- except the kid in 4E. The kid that never came by, even though Freddie said he knew. Griffin knew his daughter came into the world.

Spencer fell asleep in the chair by the hospital bed. Carly watched her baby's chest rise and fall with each tiny breath. She never really understood what the big deal about pregnancy was. Water retention, swollen ankles, morning sickness. Then the baby. Women always cooed. Giving birth is a miracle, they said. She had just shrugged.

Now, as her flesh and blood lay across the room, she understood. The past months were nothing compared to what she was really feeling now. Joy. She smiled. Although it was going to be strange to refer to herself as a mom. Carly promised herself it would be okay. Maybe she could say her baby was her sister if anyone asked.

A doctor came into the room to check on mother and daughter. He asked how Carly was feeling. She smiled. Said she was feeling better. He smiled in return. Checked on the baby. He said she was doing well. Carly nodded. The doctor kept her talking with light small talk. The weather. Asked what music she liked. Talked about his own kids. She smiled and nodded politely. He was nice. Made her feel comfortable. She liked that she never asked about the baby's dad.

Finally the doctor came over to her bedside. Asked what she named her daughter. Carly bit her lip, nervous. She sighed. She never really thought about the name. Doc smiled softly, put a hand on her shoulder. Assured her it was alright. He had seen lots of teen moms while working here. They never knew what was going on, either. Again, she nodded. Took a deep breath. One name had been floating around in her head.

"Hope."

* * *

Okay, this was supposed to be a oneshot, but I got the idea from a reviewer that this could be longer. Now it's a twoshot, and I'm toying around with the idea of making a new multichaptered fic based on this...dunno if I will; we'll see.

...and to the moron who left me an anonymous review taking a stab at my political beliefs:  
Read the first author's note. "**This is not about abortion. This is not about protection**."


End file.
